I was talking to my buddy Marc the other day about some of our Karaoke stories. He naturally had to bring up one of my all time defining Karaoke moments. The time I sang “King of Pain” by the Police. Listen, I am a good Karaoke-er. I swear I can sing a lot of stuff. But I am not as fun or as adventerous as some people, when it comes to Karaoke. I have to practice, which is incredibly nerdy and not really fitting for the Karaoke professional. But I am a singer and singers can be a very nervous lot. So I hadn’t listened to this song in a while and I certainly hadn’t ever sung it and let me tell you it was bad. I rank that as my #1 musical misstep of my life. I couldn’t find a key. I had to call Marc over to sing it in my ear. A 3 minute song suddenly felt like an hour and a half. It’s like that bad dream of giving a concert with no clothes on… except I had the words on the screen in front of me. Just couldn’t find it, I guess.
The Karaoke moments were always a little more mortifying than any other performances. My number 2 musical nightmare came at a Karaoke contest final round. I had made it to the finals with a killer rendition of David Lee Roth’s “Just a Gigilo/ I ain’t Got Nobody.” I remember I sang the hell out of that… I thought, there is no way I can lose this. I was feeling pretty confident. The finals as it turned out were to be in the style of Kamikaze Karaoke. Just like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. What happens is the DJ picks whatever, 5 or 6 songs, however many contestants there are and then each contestant picks one. The songs are all fairly well known because you don’t want to kill anyone, but if you don’t know it, it could be ugly. And if someone, anyone helps you, you are immediately disqualified.
Well, I picked Snoops “Gin and Juice.” I have never been good at rap. I sing opera for god’s sake. So I am up there faking my way through a version of this song in which I know the chorus pretty well, when suddenly these drunk guys start coming and singing the song with me. I am immediately disqualified from the contest. It was a shameful moment for sure. Well, I say shameful, but really it’s just Karaoke.
How great of an outlet is Karaoke. I mean anyone can get up there and sing whatever they want as long as it is in the book. I am always amazed when people do not want to sing at Karaoke, when everyone who is there is drunk and 25% of the singers can barely even carry a tune. No offense. I am not discouraging anyone from doing Karaoke. I want everyone to do it. I swear by it. Those are only 2 stories of my sucking at Karaoke and I am a professional singer. I have just done it so much that I have had a few opportunities to be good as well.
There was this time in college, when I used it to get my girlfriend back. I had set up this elaborate date. Dinner, flowers, Karaoke. I am such a romantic. Oh man, I was not very good to this girl before this, until I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I am pretty sure she had started dating someone else. I was f’ing determined though. So, I set this whole thing up, I went to the bar, O’Leary’s in Ithaca, to talk to them about getting me up there at the perfect time. The only problem was, they weren’t doing Karaoke there that night. But at that point I was a regular and unofficially the “Karaoke King.” So they knew me. I brought in the CD of what I wanted to sing… my staple… “At this Moment,” by BillyVera and the Beaters. What a great song, Family Ties, circa 1987.(Thank you Alex P. Keaton) I was going to have to sing with Billy Vera singing in the background, but I didn’t care… it was the gesture.
All of my friends were there that night and I was nervous as shit about being rejected, but at least I had my support staff. Anyway the DJ is doing his thing when suddenly, he says, “Now Kevin has a very special song to sing to a very special lady out in the crowd.” And we had already had a good night, though it was a little tense. She didn’t really want to go to the bar with me that night, but I got her there. So I go up and I start singing, “What did you think, I would do at this moment… blah, blah.” She was clearly embarassed, but she was smiling. Finally when I finished the song, I went over to her and gave her the biggest kiss… I knew I had won the day and the girl back. What a great moment and a great feeling. That relationship lasted about 4 more months. “It’s better to have loved and lost..” I was just happy to have had my first brave gesture at love.
Why sing Karaoke? Because you can. It’s totally available. It is indiscriminate. It’s a big time ice breaker and social outlet. It’s a show of courage. It’s expression. When you get up and sing for people, regardless of who you are, regardless of the song you choose, regardless of the words on the screen, you have to let go. You have to or you wouldn’t be up there. Thanks for reading.
“Sing badly if you must – but sing.” Fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie
Slainte,
Kevin
but see, i’m one of those people who can’t sing at all, and worse, if i have to get up in front of a crowd, whatever heights i normally hit (and i use the term height very loosely), i would be way too self-conscious to even attempt before a crowd. and then there’s you, kev – who sings with the angels talking about not doing so good on the occasional off night? Hello? Well, it’s all relative, isn’t it? and fortunately we all have gifts we bring to the table, so i’m guessing i’ll have to extrapolate when you talk about singing – i’ll translate to, what?, painting maybe. anyway, yes, karaoke as metaphor. just do it! love you, sweetie!
That’s true, you are right. It is and has always been my hope that people who supposedly can’t sing would just start singing everywhere. There are cultures in this world that it doesn’t matter what you sound like, you just sing. And these same people draw and dance and tell stories, without judgement or fear of judgement.
Wouldn’t that be a nice way to live. But here it is true, that no matter what we are doing, we do that which brings us joy. Maybe my singing karaoke is like you doodling or pencil skething on a piece of paper. As long as we are keeping the art alive within us, then we should be ok. I love you. And thank you for the comment.